Monday, December 21, 2009

XpolarXpressX

I drove up to North Conway tonight to ride on the Polar Express. And I have a few problems with that.
  1. It's supposed to come to MY house.
  2. Not enough hot cocoa and NO candy canes.
  3. The elves were bigger than me.
  4. NO TOM HANKS?!
  5. The kids were dicks.
  6. Didn't see ONE reindeer.
  7. Had to drive to North Conway.
However, there were some good things.
  1. Got a free scarf.
  2. Met Santa.
  3. Got a free bell (don't worry - I can hear it.)
  4. Discovered that the North Pole is only like a 20 minute train ride from No. Conway.
  5. Ate Burger King after.
Still, the cons outweigh the pros.
Sorry Santa.

Also, I've noticed that all this chai drinking is starting to take its toll on me. So tomorrow I'm going for a bike ride and maybe a jog. Most likely neither.
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3 comments:

  1. EvanDecember 21, 2009 at 9:14 AM

    At least you met Santa! What was he like?! Did he make you sit on his lap?

    And I thought the North Pole was a 20 minute ride from Rockland Maine? Perhaps they change the location of the the North Pole every year, to prevent different children from finding it, leaving them to hike through the woods to their deaths.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Matt AspinwallDecember 21, 2009 at 2:25 PM

    He's a toooooollll. He was covered in hay. What an idiot! Learn how to feed reindeer the right way.

    I can draw a map for you that proves both towns are 20 minutes away.

    ReplyDelete
  3. EvanDecember 21, 2009 at 6:56 PM

    Wait, so you're telling me that both North Conway and Rockland are equidistant to the north pole?! How rad?!

    ReplyDelete

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